Relationships
Filter
In my adult years of dating men, I often marvel at their collective inability to get me, to allow my feelings to exist without trying to fix or solve me, to comfortably let me lead, or to be curious about what I might say, do or be if they stopped talking for a bit and…
Read MoreAlone
I didn’t expect be 41 and have been single for over a decade, but that’s what is happening. I’ve decided that I’m done writing and re-writing dating profiles and going on endless dates to prove that I’m taking action and putting myself out there. All the stories and anecdotal evidence of what “worked” for some…
Read MoreListening
I find that listening is a gift whether I am the one with open ears and an open heart or I am the one speaking. It’s often actually very challenging for me to just listen, more so with those that aren’t used to being listened to and tend to ask questions or feel uncomfortable with…
Read MoreSupport
Today I’m moved by my own strong desire to feel supported in my life. Support for me feels like connection, listening, calling, showing up, checking in, offering, loving, communicating, making time, encouragement, patience, and presence. I know there is a wide net of love that exists for me. And there are times, like today, that…
Read More#metoo
Every time I see, hear or read the name Ben, I think about the Benjamin R. Holland, who I was on the Swimming & Diving Team with at Kenyon College, who had sex with me without my consent. Even now as I write this 20 years later, I hesitate to use the word rape because…
Read MoreChange
Almost 20 years ago, in my early 20’s, I was living in San Francisco. I was in a relationship with a man from Chicago who grew up in a predominantly white, Irish Catholic, working class neighborhood where it was very common for him, and mostly everyone in his life, to use racial and homophobic slurs…
Read MoreWomen
I’m SO blessed because my entire life has felt like one long empowering women’s circle. Every woman in my family is a strong, powerful, can do, make it work, pushing the envelope, outspoken about women being kind, fair, intelligent leaders kind of woman. Every Kojola, Berger, Ahrens, Martin, Murray and Meek woman I know is…
Read MoreDating
I remember when online dating was new, maybe around 2002. My friend & I made dating profiles “as a joke” we told each other. It was embarrassing to tell people you had an online dating profile. If you meet someone, you didn’t really want to admit that it had been online. Now it’s almost passé.…
Read MoreSingle
Today I’m happy about being a single woman! I’m grateful to be of a mind to celebrate my independence. I spend plenty of time wishing I had a really great partner, but the reality is that I don’t at this time. The most true thing I can say is that I don’t know if I’ll…
Read MoreLove
I have so much gratitude and love for each person that ever made a prayer for equality, attended a protest or marched in support of LGBT rights, stood up for themselves or someone they love against hateful speech, action and ignorance, asked a question about something from a humble place of wanting to understand, kept…
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