Belated

My 45th birthday was 4 months ago. Recently, I realized that I was feeling sad about not having had an opportunity to blow out candles on a cake. It’s a big deal to me to have that moment to make my birthday wish. Over the years I’ve lovingly provided that moment for friends and loved…

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Hello

If your eyes are reading this…hello. I wish that I was seeing you in person and feeling my cheeks lift and my eyes crinkle as I smile at you. Thank you for seeing my name, thinking of me, and reading my words. However we became connected, no matter the length of time or number of…

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My Ancestors Love

Remembering the dead & feeling my ancestors love. My maternal grandmother, Helen Aherns Berger, was the elder most present in my young life. What I remember most about her was the feeling of being accepted. I knew she was rooting for me to be myself. In retrospect, it seems like she wanted to see who…

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The Preacher

About 6 years ago, my good friend and her fiancé called to ask if I would officiate their wedding. I was incredibly honored and immediately said an enthusiastic. “YES!” As what I had agreed to do slowly set in, I realized that I felt insecure about performing a wedding ceremony given that I’ve had so…

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Holding Tiny Humans

The right side photo is from 8 years ago. I’m overcome with wonder at the sweet, preciousness of my sleeping, spirit nephew, Sonny, in my arms. I’m so grateful that my body easily knows how to hold others. My body is designed to radiate love and comfort to those allowed to get close enough to…

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Meeting Myself in a Million Beautiful Ways

Today I’m celebrating my relationship with myself. I have been single for 16 or 17 years. I can’t remember anymore. All this time I’ve been in relationship with myself, having all the ups & downs, twists & turns by myself. Who can say whether it’s been easier or harder to be alone? I celebrate the…

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My Heart

A year ago I shared a beautiful afternoon with Kristen and John. Kristen unveiled this amazing medicine painting to me for the first time. It was love at first sight and I am still completely mesmerized by each detail. It’s so familiar and so precious that I can barely believe it exists and that I…

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Letting GO

My prayer today is to let the letting go happen in an easier, more peaceful way. Whatever is letting go of me is becoming something else that is useful somewhere else. The birds and the trees and the fire and the breeze showed me infinitely that the truth is right here all the time. It’s…

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When One Of Us Falls

6 years ago, my friend Afran ended his life. Though I hadn’t known him long, his life and death impacted me so deeply. Witnessing the effect of his suicide on my community and the grief of so many people I love was almost unbearable. I didn’t know what to do or say, but I knew…

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Friends

Today I’m happy about driving to Livermore for a strange, yet emotional Bowie Tribute concert. It’s all about who you go with. I’m happy about music that we can bond over and that it can help us find/express our true identity, heal from loss and pain, as well as remind us of our past. I’m…

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