green and gold

Yesterday I drove through a stunning landscape of gold and green. Lush vineyards and golden hills. Some vines have lovely scattered flowers growing underneath. Those make me smile. The rows of vines are so orderly. They feed my need for structure and organization and make me feel calm. I can only imagine the amount of…

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loosening

A few days ago, I was watering my yard and noticed a hummingbird was following me around. I realized that she wanted a drink of water. It was a hot afternoon. I held the water stream steady and she buzzed in and out of it a few times. I was happy to help her cool…

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Healing the War Inside Myself

I tried to claim to my journal that I don’t understand righteousness, but then I felt and saw that I do. Righteousness lives in me if I can undefend myself enough to see and acknowledge it. I can see ways righteousness owns me, if unchecked. There are layers of impact seared into flesh and strewn…

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Loneliness

Sometimes loneliness is gut wrenching. It feels vulnerable to talk about loneliness, but it’s such a real part of life. Facebook memories started pulling on a thread of loneliness today. I saw pictures from 8 years ago of people who came to my house for a pumpkin carving party. If I had a pumpkin carving…

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