Relationships
When One Of Us Falls
6 years ago, my friend Afran ended his life. Though I hadn’t known him long, his life and death impacted me so deeply. Witnessing the effect of his suicide on my community and the grief of so many people I love was almost unbearable. I didn’t know what to do or say, but I knew…
Read MoreFriends
Today I’m happy about driving to Livermore for a strange, yet emotional Bowie Tribute concert. It’s all about who you go with. I’m happy about music that we can bond over and that it can help us find/express our true identity, heal from loss and pain, as well as remind us of our past. I’m…
Read MoreNoan
My Aunt Joan seems to be losing touch with reality. She has disconnected herself from her friends and community and is barely picking up the phone when family members call. She doesn’t have internet, email, or a cell phone. She lives alone and isn’t letting anyone into her house and won’t agree to let us…
Read MoreEmotional Needs
Sometimes I write in dialogue with a part of myself that is called Higher Guidance. I learned about Higher Guidance and her unending wisdom almost 20 years ago. If I ask her direct questions, she always has clear, direct and helpful answers. I asked her what my emotional needs are and she said this: Your…
Read MoreWhat To Say
I saw a post today with a chart about what not to say to someone who is depressed. Then many people commented that it’s unhelpful to only post what not to say without offering suggestions of what might be most helpful to say. Here is an incredible education in what to say when a friend…
Read MoreReleasing Control
I am ready to stop trying to control my heart and my feelings. I am ready to release control of trying to feel the right amount of feelings or order my feelings to arrive on a certain schedule that is synced up with someone else’s feelings. I am ready to give up trying to control…
Read MoreSelf-Compassion
During this time of year, I’ve come to understand that there will likely be an emotional release at some (or several) point(s.) I over planned and under-felt my way though the last week, maybe even the last few weeks or more. Now that it’s over, a bubble I’d been living in burst and I realize…
Read MoreExpectations on Gratitude
I am sometimes aware of deep, spontaneous pockets of gratitude for my life. Possibly because I have lived extended periods of time not feeling grateful to be alive, I am so overcome when the gratitude rises up and takes over from the inside. It always feels like a miracle. I don’t ever expect it, but…
Read MoreBeing Alone
I guess I’ve needed to be alone all these years to be able to feel and know myself apart from the needs of anyone else. I needed a lot of time to be able to know who I am, what I want and be willing to protect that against merging with someone else and their…
Read MoreLove
I’ve been single for 15 years. I’ve been saying 10 years for so long and recently realized that it’s now 15. That was a sobering moment of realization. Often when men learn this they don’t believe me or ask what is wrong with me. I am single. I try not to have beliefs about why.…
Read More