Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
fear of fear
One of the things we talked about in Mystery School today was “fear of fear.” I realized how much of my life has been shaped not only by fear itself, but by trying to organize my life around avoiding fear. Avoiding rejection.Avoiding abandonment.Avoiding being misunderstood.Avoiding not being enough.Avoiding not knowing.Avoiding disapproval.Avoiding feeling exposed, vulnerable, fragmented,…
Read MoreI Keep Coming Back to Myself
I keep writing and rewriting because some part of me still believes I can change the story. Not the facts.Not what happened. But the emotional ending. Some part of me still wants to arrive at a version where I finally understand enough, explain enough, soften enough, heal enough, and then suddenly everything will feel peaceful.…
Read MoreBeing Alone
I guess I’ve needed to be alone all these years to be able to feel and know myself apart from the needs of anyone else. I needed a lot of time to be able to know who I am, what I want and be willing to protect that against merging with someone else and their…
Read MoreAlone
I didn’t expect be 41 and have been single for over a decade, but that’s what is happening. I’ve decided that I’m done writing and re-writing dating profiles and going on endless dates to prove that I’m taking action and putting myself out there. All the stories and anecdotal evidence of what “worked” for some…
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