Today I’m moved by my own strong desire to feel supported in my life. Support for me feels like connection, listening, calling, showing up, checking in, offering, loving, communicating, making time, encouragement, patience, and presence.
I know there is a wide net of love that exists for me. And there are times, like today, that I’d love to be able to experience it even more fully.
I feel blessed today to have received some very helpful, poignant support and guidance through an emotional impasse. It was a melt down that I felt coming on and tried fervently to prevent. But sometimes the only way to move forward is to have the meltdown, be brought to my knees and admit that I can’t/don’t know how to move forward.
I ended up feeling seen, heard and reassured today and being able to move forward! Ultimately it’s my job to trust that the love and support exists for me. It’s also my job to ask for the support I need and/or consistently put myself in the places that I know I can receive it.
It feels so human to just want more though. I’m deciding not to be ashamed to admit wanting more love and more people to show up for me. I want more of feeling supported, more knowing that my people will be there if I fall, melt down or need help…and also for the celebrations, parties & performances.
I know that I can’t always be there for everyone in my life. I live in constant awareness of the “more” that I could do for others and the ways I’m not able to show up as much as I’d like to. But I also I know that we all need to care for ourselves first. I know that people not being able to show up doesn’t mean a lack of love or caring.
There are many days of my life that I happily devote to showing up and being there for others. I wish that I had more of these days. I show up when I can, not only because I am able to and I like to, but also because I don’t want anyone to feel alone or be sad.
I also know that I often feel alone, sad or any other number of challenging feelings and I always survive. It’s part of being alive, navigating experiences and emotions that come up. Some times I’m more resilient than others, but I always find my way forward.
I consider it a huge blessing if in any given day I get to connect with a friend, if someone reaches out, if someone calls me for support or is available to listen to me. Sharing life this way is my favorite thing and I wish for so much more of it.
I’m re-committing to reach out to at least one person every day as we enter into Fall/Winter/Holidays. I don’t know how this year will be, but I do know that in the past this has been a hard time of year for me (and many others) so I like to have a plan to create connection consistently.