Orienting to 49

Pink flower in sunlight at Harbin Hot Springs garden, symbolizing slowing down, beauty, and self-reflection

I turned 49 this week. I’m orienting, organizing, and grounding around the start of my 50th year. I spent my birthday at Harbin Hot Springs, where I got a massage, walked slowly through the gardens, watched the morning light touch the land, listened to coyotes near my cottage, and remembered how much natural beauty helps…

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moving fear

owl in soft golden light looking alert and grounded, symbolizing awareness and moving through fear

Building a Map Through Fear I’ve been noticing that I’m building a kind of map for how I move through fear—and it’s happening through my real life, not outside of it. Not in big breakthroughs, but in the moments where I feel stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure what to do next. These are a few moments…

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I Keep Coming Back to Myself

I keep writing and rewriting because some part of me still believes I can change the story. Not the facts.Not what happened. But the emotional ending. Some part of me still wants to arrive at a version where I finally understand enough, explain enough, soften enough, heal enough, and then suddenly everything will feel peaceful.…

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