What To Say

I saw a post today with a chart about what not to say to someone who is depressed. Then many people commented that it’s unhelpful to only post what not to say without offering suggestions of what might be most helpful to say. Here is an incredible education in what to say when a friend…

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Releasing Control

I am ready to stop trying to control my heart and my feelings. I am ready to release control of trying to feel the right amount of feelings or order my feelings to arrive on a certain schedule that is synced up with someone else’s feelings. I am ready to give up trying to control…

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Self-Compassion

During this time of year, I’ve come to understand that there will likely be an emotional release at some (or several) point(s.) I over planned and under-felt my way though the last week, maybe even the last few weeks or more. Now that it’s over, a bubble I’d been living in burst and I realize…

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Core Stories

Some ideas, statements and beliefs are harder and edgier for me to wrap my mind around than others. It’s likely because they go against some of the core stories that I’ve known or told about myself over the past 4 decades. It’s not that I am unable to reconsider or edit these core stories, but…

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Expectations on Gratitude

I am sometimes aware of deep, spontaneous pockets of gratitude for my life. Possibly because I have lived extended periods of time not feeling grateful to be alive, I am so overcome when the gratitude rises up and takes over from the inside. It always feels like a miracle. I don’t ever expect it, but…

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Being Alone

I guess I’ve needed to be alone all these years to be able to feel and know myself apart from the needs of anyone else. I needed a lot of time to be able to know who I am, what I want and be willing to protect that against merging with someone else and their…

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Jemel Roberson

It’s not an accident or a mistake that Illinois police shot security guard #JemelRoberson, who risked his life to protect others as he apprehended a drunk, violent gunman. It’s systemic racism. Black, indigenous, people of color die/get shot when white people ignore, deny or are blind to our racial bias. It takes continuous work to…

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Hugo Kojola

My paternal grandpa, Hugo “Joe” Kojola was born on this day in 1908 and died in 1994. As a kid I thought that he was Santa Claus because of his white beard, jolly laugh and round belly. He was always giving me cool, shiny rocks that he polished in his rock polishing machine. I still…

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California

California, I love you! I want to hug every tree, pour my love into the trunks, out the roots & into the earth. I feel a primal love for these coastlines, foothills, mountains & valleys where I’ve lived. When alone in nature, I often walk slowly & gently imagining that my feet are kissing the…

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