Prayers
A Long Time Coming
A long time coming | Things worth waiting for I’ve spent much time over the last 10-11 years observing, watering, tending, and being with the Huachuma (San Pedro) in my garden. I’ve planted and replanted, potted and re-potted, and tried many different types of fertilizers. I’ve over-tended and under-tended them. I’ve gifted some Huachumas to…
Read MoreBelated
My 45th birthday was 4 months ago. Recently, I realized that I was feeling sad about not having had an opportunity to blow out candles on a cake. It’s a big deal to me to have that moment to make my birthday wish. Over the years I’ve lovingly provided that moment for friends and loved…
Read MoreInside Job
I’ll be 45 in 2 days. Someone asked me what I want for my birthday. I couldn’t put it into words until right now. What I want feels way too big to ask for, unless it’s a prayer. What I want for myself is an inside job. I need to create it, do it and…
Read MoreMy Ancestors Love
Remembering the dead & feeling my ancestors love. My maternal grandmother, Helen Aherns Berger, was the elder most present in my young life. What I remember most about her was the feeling of being accepted. I knew she was rooting for me to be myself. In retrospect, it seems like she wanted to see who…
Read MoreThe Preacher
About 6 years ago, my good friend and her fiancé called to ask if I would officiate their wedding. I was incredibly honored and immediately said an enthusiastic. “YES!” As what I had agreed to do slowly set in, I realized that I felt insecure about performing a wedding ceremony given that I’ve had so…
Read MoreMeeting Myself in a Million Beautiful Ways
Today I’m celebrating my relationship with myself. I have been single for 16 or 17 years. I can’t remember anymore. All this time I’ve been in relationship with myself, having all the ups & downs, twists & turns by myself. Who can say whether it’s been easier or harder to be alone? I celebrate the…
Read MoreTiny Moments
I’ve been wanting to say something for days, but I can’t quite get it out. It’s a quiet truth, one that’s easy to ignore and override. It’s that vulnerable risk that’s a little too scary to fully embrace. It’s the part of you that longs to be seen but is mostly shy. It’s noticing that…
Read More44
I’m finding a lot of peace at the start of my 44th year. Peace in the present moment, peace in being with myself, feeling peaceful in the body I’ve got right now, and peace with those in my life however close or far away they choose to be. There is also an abundance of feelings…
Read MoreMy Heart
A year ago I shared a beautiful afternoon with Kristen and John. Kristen unveiled this amazing medicine painting to me for the first time. It was love at first sight and I am still completely mesmerized by each detail. It’s so familiar and so precious that I can barely believe it exists and that I…
Read MoreThe Best We Can Do
***This post took me 2 hours to write. It takes about 10 minutes to read. I posted it and then deleted it last night, but then reposted it today because I really do want to share even though it feels vulnerable.*** I’ve spoken with a lot of people in the past year who are struggling…
Read More