diving

Abby Kojola standing at the end of a diving board during a high school CCS diving competition

My dad found these old black-and-white photos that he took of me diving when I was in high school, and looking at them brought back all of these memories that feel so physical and visceral, like my body remembers this whole life that I haven’t thought about in years.

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fear of fear

Soft orange sun on the horizon reflected on calm blue water at dusk, with a hazy, blurred sky.

One of the things we talked about in Mystery School today was “fear of fear.” I realized how much of my life has been shaped not only by fear itself, but by trying to organize my life around avoiding fear. Avoiding rejection.Avoiding abandonment.Avoiding being misunderstood.Avoiding not being enough.Avoiding not knowing.Avoiding disapproval.Avoiding feeling exposed, vulnerable, fragmented,…

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