Feelings
Self-Soothing
Recently I noticed that I’ve been soothing myself in ways that either don’t last, don’t work, or aren’t actually soothing. I’m not judging myself for that. I appreciate my awareness of it. At some point the part of me that truly seeks deep nourishment will activate. There are millions of opportunities each day to ignore…
Read MoreBelated
My 45th birthday was 4 months ago. Recently, I realized that I was feeling sad about not having had an opportunity to blow out candles on a cake. It’s a big deal to me to have that moment to make my birthday wish. Over the years I’ve lovingly provided that moment for friends and loved…
Read MoreHello
If your eyes are reading this…hello. I wish that I was seeing you in person and feeling my cheeks lift and my eyes crinkle as I smile at you. Thank you for seeing my name, thinking of me, and reading my words. However we became connected, no matter the length of time or number of…
Read MoreInside Job
I’ll be 45 in 2 days. Someone asked me what I want for my birthday. I couldn’t put it into words until right now. What I want feels way too big to ask for, unless it’s a prayer. What I want for myself is an inside job. I need to create it, do it and…
Read MoreMeaningful
Consciously moving towards what is meaningful. Meaningful moments occur most consistently when I create time and space for them. Connection with others, with nature, and with myself, all feel meaningful. I’m interested in all the gritty and glorious details of life. When it feels safe to be my full, authentic self, those moments are full…
Read MoreSad
I feel sad when things don’t work out the way I wanted them to. Life is often not the way I imagined it would be. I could be endlessly disappointed. I could (and do) spend time wishing things were different or imagining how I could have created a different outcome if I had only been…
Read MoreDetails
I was thinking a little too hard about what made me happy today. I don’t feel the need to force happiness if it’s not there, that’s not happy. It makes me feel good that people check in with me regularly and tell me about their lives. I love that. I’m into the tiniest details and…
Read MoreAlways Be Kind
Always be kind. We can never know the underlying causes of another’s behavior. Always save some room for redemption, for forgiveness, and for allowing ourselves and others the chance to restore our own honor. Today at the farmers market, I was with 3 others from Marin Community Fridges gathering donated food from the farmer’s stands…
Read MoreGood morning sunshine.
I wasn’t feeling like it was a good morning when I woke up. I don’t know why I sometimes wake with hard feelings on my heart. Sometimes waking up alone feels luxurious and calm, sometimes it feels incredibly lonely and sad. Today I woke attuned to the bottomless black hole that no amount of attention,…
Read MoreAutumn Equinox
Today is the Autumn Equinox and I wanted to spend it breathing fresh air, reveling in natural beauty, and listening to wise messages from water, trees, and my local creatures roaming & flying around China Camp. A beautiful intention gone awry. Instead, I woke up grouchy. I kept my hoody hood up all morning. Hiding…
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