message from love
A message from love: Never underestimate your heart. If you could see yourself through its eyes, you would never doubt yourself. It is not always easy to have a big heart. You were born for this challenge. You already have the capacity you need to give and receive love. You always have enough when it…
Read MoreI Keep Coming Back to Myself
Finding Peace Within I keep writing and rewriting because some part of me still believes I can change the story—or finally make it feel okay. There’s a part of my nervous system that gets caught in these loops. It keeps trying to make it feel okay—to find closure, to find peace. The most powerful thing…
Read MoreCollective Crisis and Personal Peace: Reflections on 9/11, Trauma, and the Human Nervous System
When Many Nervous Systems Register an Emergency I am thinking this morning about what it feels like when a lot of people at the same time register that there’s an emergency—what it’s like when a massive number of human nervous systems register a crisis simultaneously. Of course, I’m reminded of the events of September 11,…
Read Morecrossroads
Katy took this picture on Saturday evening. We sat for awhile at the crossroads along the trail in the hills behind my house. We looked over at just the right moment and saw the almost full moon rising over Mt Diablo. It’s a mystery to me why the moon so rarely shows up as large…
Read Morewaiting
I felt these words so deeply. I’ve been waiting too—sometimes patiently, sometimes aggressively, even self-destructively. I forget my self-care practices. I lean into choices I know won’t make me feel better. I ride a glimmer of creative spark, using a moment of inspiration to feel better, but I am still waiting. Waiting inside. Looking out…
Read Morecontinuous form
I had my perfect summer peach moment today. It happened without any effort on my part. I just ate a peach at the perfect moment, fully received the pleasure of it, and let it be enough. It makes sense. Sometimes the part of me that tries for optimal results, that’s often working to control things,…
Read Morespiders + san pedro
Almost all of the San Pedro cactuses in my backyard are covered with spider webs. Upon inspection, I can almost always find at least one spider on any given length of cactus. Their webs stretch between the cacti, wrap around them, and catch all kinds of insects, leaves, and whatever the wind blows their way.…
Read MoreListening to the Medicine: When Peyote Says “This Is Not for You”
Listening for Truth Who am I? I am a powerful woman. I am unique. I have a quiet, spidery way. I seek and speak the truth. I am an agent of huachuma, of San Pedro medicine. Why I Am Here I’m here to listen — to plants, to trees, to water, to people, to my…
Read MoreThe Way of Ceremony
A Prayer for How We Gather We take this time to talk about the ceremony each time. These things are often hard to remember, but try— they are part of the container for your healing. And your healing is our healing. My prayer is to communicate what I can from what I’ve learned, in a…
Read Moretie fifty reds
Tonight, driving home, I saw two young coyotes running alongside the road. I love when they appear near my house at night. I’m always a little sad when I don’t see at least one—like something’s missing. Their presence comforts me: out and about, making their rounds, living in the mystery. An orange moon hung low…
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