too much cowbell

Last Updated on September 30, 2026

I open my sliding glass door to listen to the wind & smell the evening air.

Frank & Ricky come running to do the same. They like to keep watch over their yard at night. We watch Billie, our local shepherdess, finish filling the water tank in the back of her truck & then drive up the hill to the eucalyptus grove where she lives at the moment. She has been our new neighbor for about 6 weeks along with a few hundred goats, some sheep, a one-eyed emu & a dog that lives with the herd.

I’ve joked recently that I do not need ANY more cowbell in my life. Most of Billie’s goats, who are mowing this corner of China Camp, wear cowbells. It’s quite a sound healing when they all come running down the hill. Luckily they are mostly out of earshot now, but it’s funny how it went from being a novelty, to driving me crazy, to bringing me to my knees with despair over the distraction, to finally getting used to it. Now I might even miss it a little. I miss laughing about goat farts & the crazy noises they make.

Are all the cowbells needed to keep them safe from coyotes or to more easily find them if they get lost? I haven’t asked. I’ve simply accepted my situation & done my best to find the silver lining & try to cope with the noise.

The worst seems to be over. Now I just hear the dog barking at night. In the quiet, I just heard a little screech owl while writing this tonight.

I think about my process of registering, resisting, being worn down by & finally adapting to change. I often like change if it’s my choice or I’m in control. If it comes with a lot of discomfort or distraction, it’s much harder for me. Even so, there’s a certain amount of energy I can get from telling people dramatically about whatever is hard for me about something.

There’s a charge & some life-force energy that comes from being listened to, being heard, seen & understood. It’s a form of feeling cared about. That’s a part of healing in community, when you share & are received, not denied.

I wonder at the nuances of change that can make us deny what is happening & cling harder to the old reality that is shifting. Does that work? For how long? When does clinging & denial fall apart & fail as a strategy?