Wonder
I’m grateful for a day of big, extravagant self-care. I got a massage and did the bathing ritual several times at the Sonoma Mission Inn with some loving sisters.
I gave myself as much opportunity for calm, relaxation and peace as I could. It helped a lot. I feel a renewed inspiration to take care of my body and mental health well, be stronger and have more energy to be more of a healing force in the world.
I didn’t look at my phone or computer or listen to the news today. I want to take more time to push back and disconnect from social/digital media and devices. These things and how I interact with them tend to feed my fear and anxiety.
As I made my way through the the world today, I looked more deeply in the faces of strangers and smiled (sometimes with tears in my eyes.) I felt kindness towards each human I encountered. I felt protective of children in the street and patient with other drivers, pedestrians, cyclists, people in the market. It feels important for me to find ways to live beyond my bubble and connect with others I don’t know more every day.
Today my massage therapist, Helen, handed me a stone with the word WONDER on it and told me to hold on to it, breathe and make a prayer. I prayed that I never stop WONDERING about others that cross my path. Who they are, what they feel in the middle of the night, what makes them happy, how they came to be the way they are, who they love, how we are the same, how we are different, if there are ways we can offer each other healing or wisdom, what I can learn for them?
When it’s safe, and I feel an opening, I really want to know others deeply and I want to be known by them as well. I can take the risk to initiate this more often and I feel inspired to, because everything I know about healing involves the opposite of dividing and separating.
I wonder how I can restore my own honor at feeling so other, so not in a good way, so separate, so in opposition to those that did not vote the the way I did and the outcome that ensued. I don’t know the answer right now, I continue to wonder about it.