Grandma

I usually love costumes, dressing up, carving pumpkins and trick ‘r treating…but I just wasn’t feeling any of it this year.

I found a way to celebrate Halloween at Medicine Theater improv class tonight where we invited ancestor spirits into our intuitive, spontaneous play.

I connected with my maternal Grandma, Helen Berger, who died in 1989. She was my closest elder friend as a young girl and one of the kindest, most generous people I’ve ever known. She was kind of quiet and very wise. She was a small, but powerful woman. You just knew instinctively not to ever mess with her, but she was very peaceful to me. She’d sometimes just sit on the porch and soak up the sun, but she was also almost always working at something, slowly and steadily. I liked about her that she was subtly mischievous and kind of a rascal…she had these twinkling blue eyes that never missed a thing. She would sneak me candy before dinner & let me watch cartoons in her room at the crack of dawn before my parents woke up.

I felt a longing for her tonight that brought me to tears. It’s been 27 years since I saw her in person. In my improv play, I imagined knowing her as an adult, and being able to speak with her as a grown woman.

Somehow I’ve felt her with me more than any other ancestor. We just had a thing…the spirit world feels safe to me because she’s there. Thank you, Grandma. I’m grateful for all my ancestors and how my life continues to be shaped and inspired by those who have passed and those yet to come.

As for John this Halloween, he prefers never to wear a costume, but if he’s forced…he’ll be a chicken.