What Am I Watching?

I saw a friend at a party recently. He seemed excited to know what I’ve been reading and watching on TV.

I read & watch tv, but nothing I could think of seemed worth recommending. I wanted to be able to rattle off all the interesting things I’ve learned recently, but my mind was blank. I’ve kept thinking about it over the last week.

What am I listening to? Today I’m listened to blades of grass brushing against each other. I heard birds both crying out in warning and chirping with joy. The wind whispered through my hair and the leaves chattered up above me. I could almost hear the growth and new life pumping itself up out of the ground and the hymn of the mycelial network down below. I heard my breath flowing, my heart pounding, and the echoes of all my thoughts and preoccupations. All these sounds inform my aliveness. I have deep gratitude for all my senses.

What am I watching? Yesterday I spent time watching a ladybug eat a tiny green bug. All I can see around me is new growth green that opens my eyes and my heart so wide. I see people and their dogs move through the world with excitement and sometimes obliviousness. I see my cats climbing trees and I feel so ridiculously happy and proud.

As my life happens, I try to have as many original thoughts in real time as I can. I don’t always want my thoughts served up by screens and search engines. I can’t avoid my dependence on my devices, but I value time away from them too.

I’ve always been teaching myself to pay attention, to see, hear, heal and be available to witness magic, mayhem and find deep beauty in mundane moments.
Today I feel my weight compressing the soft earth. I feel so grateful and proud to allow myself to be so full, to have grown so big and curvy and to be alive taking up space and feeling beautifully connected and in harmony with the natural world that I am part of.

I’ve always been this way. Absorbing so much joy and peace in nature, finding quiet respite in her beauty. I love books and movies, but I struggle to retain them, remember them, describe them and recommend them. It’s a whole part of popular culture I am hit or miss with. I like that about myself! It’s not a problem.

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