If your eyes are reading this…hello. I wish that I was seeing you in person and feeling my cheeks lift and my eyes crinkle as I smile at you. Thank you for seeing my name, thinking of me, and reading my words.
However we became connected, no matter the length of time or number of threads we share, I am grateful for you because you make up a world of people that I feel part of and integrated with on my best days, and a world I wish to feel more visible in and intimate with on harder days.
I just went outside in my backyard to see the moon. I’m happy to report that I still feel deep wonder and amazement when I see stars and the moon twinkling and shining in the darkness. There was a shooting star, a satellite, a baby screech owl, a mature owl, and frogs and crickets singing. I am part of this world where so much has an explanation and so much is unknown, broken, and a mess, but the most important part to me is how I feel when I witness what feels like a miracle of beauty and wonder. As long as I can be moved and swayed by the kindness of friends and strangers, by the vastness and nuance of the natural world, and by my own will to experience it all with an open heart, I know that there is hope for more beauty to come.
I haven’t known what to say for a long time amidst the endless swirl of information that never stops coming through. There’s so much of it and there never seems to be enough time to truly feel the impact and grieve before new information casts larger or more controversial shadows and incites more and more and more.
I am always grieving for the suffering and injustice of the world, I’m grieving for all those who experience suffering and for myself. I’ve always cried these tears and not always known who or what they were for. I don’t mind the release. I don’t mind feeling into the bottomless suffering and knowing that even with the vastness of all I feel, I could never comprehend it even over all my lifetimes.
I also need to remember to look up and see the wonder and beauty that is always there surrounding me. I want to more readily reach out to the points of connection on my web and experience the authentic humanness of myself and of others.
I realize that I can just say, “ Hello.” It’s very simple and a great place to start when I find myself out of the habit of reaching out. Any number of things could be in the way of or interrupt connections. It happens all the time. But there are always more to be created, rekindled, and nourished.
Today I’m making a deeper prayer for my life to live in a way where I feel more spaciousness and openness to connection.
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