Today was hard. It was the kind of day that shook my confidence in my ability to what I do for a living. I’m wondering if I need to start over and do everything differently. It is going to be fine, but it feels intense right now. Sometimes there is a much wider gap in understanding between myself and a client than I am aware of. Sometimes the same words mean different things to different people and we don’t realize it. Sometimes I don’t know how to fix what’s broken or how to find the right person to help. Even after years of learning how to explain what I do and how I do it, there is evidently a much better way to be learned. I’ve been here before many times and I’m sure I’ll be here again. I know that when I get myself in “hot water” that means I am breaking through to another level, failing forward, growing and learning a valuable lesson. It’s humbling to bump up against my limitations. I want there to be someone to blame, even myself, but there isn’t. Misunderstanding, insufficient communication, and too many assumptions are the guilty parties, the usual suspects.
The amount of communicating I do everyday is overwhelming and also never enough. The amount of information I have in my head about all the different projects I’m working on is massive and I can’t keep track of it all. I am a detail oriented and organized person, but I need even better systems. It might be that I need to hire more help and that I can’t do everything myself anymore…hmmmm. I’m not going to figure it all out tonight. I don’t really need advice. I just wanted to share a very human and lifey thing that is happening for me today. My mom always says, “You do your best, and that’s all you can do.” I did my best today. I’m going to do my best tomorrow and the next day too. Goodnight!