ocean

I met my friend for lunch at the beach in Half Moon Bay today. There was no one on the beach when I got there. That Boys of Summer song played in my head. It was foggy, but the sun kept trying to peak through.

As I sat looking out at the water, I saw some creatures in the distance 2-3 waves back. I wanted them to be dolphins, but slowly realized they were huge birds. Were they somehow magnified by the fog? Pelicans are just massive birds. They feel prehistoric to me.

It was almost chilly in moments where a breeze made the fog thicker and almost too hot in moments as the fog thinned out. I love coastal fog in all its phases.

I got closer to the water and felt mist spray from the waves. These waves crashed with such thunder so close to my feet. They felt heavy and reminded me of times I’ve been tumbled. I felt intimidated.

I have always had a healthy respect for the ocean. I don’t like to mess around if I’m unsure of my ability to stay safe. I don’t always feel the need to go in. When I do, I love it and never regret getting all the way in.

I stood still and felt the sacredness of being alone with the ocean. Always a beautiful and honest moment where I am completely overcome by a power greater than myself in a way that makes sense to me. The ocean wins every time. I am relieved to feel the small, fragile quality of my human form and value my ability for awe.

I long to be a water bird floating, flying & diving so gracefully among the powerful waves. I dream of being a seal, popping my head up and bringing joy to those who spot me. I’ve always wanted to be a dolphin gliding just under the waters surface and making graceful arcs to make my presence known to a lucky few.

I am who I am in this human body taking all this in today. It’s an escape from all parts of my life that aren’t within sight or sound of the ocean. It’s easy to forget everything else. I’m grateful for that.

I always know deep inside that I must be near the ocean, but I don’t often enough visit her and let her remind me of why.

Later after my friend arrived, we saw a bunch of dolphins. Some jumped high out of the water with such joy. It was the perfect way to celebrate the moment.