44
I’m finding a lot of peace at the start of my 44th year. Peace in the present moment, peace in being with myself, feeling peaceful in the body I’ve got right now, and peace with those in my life however close or far away they choose to be.
There is also an abundance of feelings that are not peaceful, but I even feel a certain peace with letting the big feelings come and go without a lot of judgment or additional suffering.
It is my prayer to love my life, to love what I’ve got, to be myself, to communicate about what I need and what I’m available for in a good, kind, compassionate way. I recognize many of my imperfections and limitations, and when I become aware of them, I pray to feel curious about the ways I can improve without being too hard on myself. I know that I am always doing my best.
I find the most peace in listening to the wind, water, trees, plants, birds, insects, so many voices of the natural world. The night sky has a million secrets to share when I only quiet down and gaze up. It’s not in words, but sounds, physical sensations, and awareness that rises up and washes over me. I don’t know all the languages of the world or how to listen in all the different ways, yet I am doing it all the time. I can’t explain, but I know it’s a sacred thing that humans do, we listen, know, and remember.
In the listening is the comfort I always wanted to find in another being, but can only reliably exist inside me. I feel comfort knowing that I will make time and space for my peace to exist, that I will listen for the instructions on how to navigate the peacefulness, and that I can trust myself endlessly.
I went to bed happy and woke up happy. I honored and celebrated myself. I received all the love that was offered to me with a joyful happy heart. I could not ask for more, but I will receive all the love that is available very gratefully.