Silence

Silence can have such depth and dimension. So much can happen without a sound.
Even when I have very little to say, energy pulses, vibrates, and creates something where there’s also nothing. Sometimes I long for the right words and sometimes I make no effort to recall them.

Silence can be comfortable and also unbearable. So much energy in my life has been spent trying to avoid silence because of its awkwardness. It’s incredible how often we are expected to speak, respond, share, explain, comment, or emote verbally. It’s amazing what an impact silence can have and what it evokes in others.

When I was younger, I often didn’t speak when I was spoken to. I simply didn’t know what to say or how to respond so I didn’t. Some of my school teachers assumed that I had trouble hearing.

I understand silence and have a deep love for it. In a way, I’ve designed my life around an abundance of silence. I also know it can be harmful and it is often very helpful to speak about what is true and say what needs to be said. I also think that we commonly overlook the value of silence and all that we can learn from it.

My relationships with plants and trees are often inaudible but somehow deep and powerful knowledge is shared. It’s not through thinking or researching, it’s through relaxing and becoming soft enough to allow the subtle energy of a tree, a succulent, a mushroom, or a weed to impress itself upon me. It’s a beautiful way to know and understand.

At times I feel frustrated with how I try to speak about what it is that I feel. I never sound quite right and the efforting and trying to get it right get in the way. Sometimes, during special times with special people, there is an energy that is comfortable, forgiving, and devoid of pressure or demand; it’s an allowing to just be as you are and absorb the feeling that everything is okay and you don’t have to try to be anything other than exactly who you are in this moment. That feeling is mostly communicated silently, and it’s a powerful, visceral experience.

Some of the truest things I know exist and happen in silence. I don’t know how that works, but I’m so eternally grateful for it.

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