I remember when online dating was new, maybe around 2002. My friend & I made dating profiles “as a joke” we told each other. It was embarrassing to tell people you had an online dating profile. If you meet someone, you didn’t really want to admit that it had been online. Now it’s almost passé.
I’ve worked with a dating coach, gone speed dating, and tried so many of the myriad apps & websites over the years. I’ve prioritized healing/supporting my own heart, head and spirit consistently since I was a teenager, taking the time to explore areas of resistance to love and/or relationship. I’ve approached dating with creativity, consciousness, care and heart. I could write a book about all my experiences…
The best practices I’ve maintained over the years include always having fun, being as honest, kind and loving as possible, taking care not to become jaded/pessimistic, as well as not having expectations, but never, ever lowering my standards. My standards are my standards for very excellent reasons. They are not random, unexamined or flexible, but based on past mistakes and my life of learned wisdom, intuition and keen observation. I’m so happy to be with myself for the rest of my life over being with someone that isn’t going to be The Deal, if you know what I mean. I fall in love all the time, but I realize that the ability to fall in love with someone often has little to do with the reality/possibility of creating a great partnership with them.
Today I tried something new called 500 Brunches. I signed up about a month ago and finally got an invite to a brunch with 9 other singles. We all heard about 500 Brunches from ads on the Date/able podcast. We couldn’t figure out how or why we’d been grouped together, but 7 women & 2 men sat down for brunch at Beso in the Castro.
I was the only person not working a corporate job, the only one not living in SF, the only Bay Area native, and at the risk of sounding like a terrible person…the only one that asked any interesting questions or had anything real/thoughtful to say. Truthfully, it was boring and I’m pretty sure that I was the life of my end of the table.
I love meeting new people, but I didn’t feel drawn to swap info with anyone today. I’ll continue to try every new experience that seems interesting/exciting to me because that’s what I like to do. I continue to enjoy being a single woman and take advantage of all my freedoms and privileges. I’ll have all my wonderings about if there is a partner out there for me. There may or may not be, I just can’t know for sure either way. I truly love and enjoy my life and myself. My gratitude and peace about being a single woman grows all the time.
Today I’m happy that being single is simply not a problem or a lesser state of existence. Love still wins! I love my life, my friends, my family and myself. I’ve been single for so long that so much of what ever made it seem like a problem has fallen away.
Hug those you love and hug yourself today. Life is precious and there just isn’t much time to be that upset about anything for too long.