Unfiltered Thoughts
love
Someone spelled LOVE on the sidewalk. I almost accidentally stepped on it, but didn’t. I stopped in my tracks and tears came to my eyes. I breathed in deeply and walked on feeling the ache in my heart. My restorative yoga teacher read a quote in class last night, “If you want to let go.…
Read Moreflying through darkness
I’m 2 hours into a 5.5 hour flight across the country. The light out my window is waning as we fly into tonight’s darkness. I watched a movie for the first 2 hours called, We Live In Time. It had me shaking, crying, and trembling with grief for what I’ve never had and will likely…
Read Morewhat really matters
There’s an explosion of new green everywhere, I saw the first poppies on the hillside today. Light pink blossom petals are silently fluttering to the ground with the slightest breeze. I’ve been easing my way back into my yoga practice after a 2-month break. I’ve found some energy and inspiration to cook a few meals…
Read Moreants
It’s 2:09am. I’ve been trying to fall asleep for more than 2 hours. I got up to make myself some Calm with magnesium, L-theanine, and GABA. This has been SO helpful with my sleep when I remember to take it. I engage in another round of killing ants as I wait for my hot water…
Read Moredenver airport
This is part 2 of my travel adventures from a few days ago as I was heading home. Airports are full to the brim with people behaving amazingly well given the circumstances. It’s amazing that so many people got here on time and will get to their destination on time with all their luggage on…
Read Moremorning pages
5:12 am – Sitting alone at the airporter stop waiting for the bus that’s supposed to arrive in 7 minutes. I’m across the street from the dump watching a stream of trucks going in and coming out. This morning it occurs to me what a delicate dance it is maneuvering an 18-wheeler. I feel like…
Read Moresunset to moonrise
Sunset to moonrise hike last night. Listening to a book written 20 years ago about a dystopian future that sounds a lot like today. The imagined suffering that is now real made me cry. It’s so chronically exhausting to see all that is failing, depleting, exploitative, and toxic, and to know that people in power…
Read MoreSelf-Soothing
Recently I noticed that I’ve been soothing myself in ways that either don’t last, don’t work, or aren’t actually soothing. I’m not judging myself for that. I appreciate my awareness of it. At some point the part of me that truly seeks deep nourishment will activate. There are millions of opportunities each day to ignore…
Read MoreInside Job
I’ll be 45 in 2 days. Someone asked me what I want for my birthday. I couldn’t put it into words until right now. What I want feels way too big to ask for, unless it’s a prayer. What I want for myself is an inside job. I need to create it, do it and…
Read MoreDetails
I was thinking a little too hard about what made me happy today. I don’t feel the need to force happiness if it’s not there, that’s not happy. It makes me feel good that people check in with me regularly and tell me about their lives. I love that. I’m into the tiniest details and…
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