Grief
flying through darkness
I’m 2 hours into a 5.5 hour flight across the country. The light out my window is waning as we fly into tonight’s darkness. I watched a movie for the first 2 hours called, We Live In Time. It had me shaking, crying, and trembling with grief for what I’ve never had and will likely…
Read Moreexhale peace
Today I woke up early to take my friend to the airport shuttle. The air around me felt heavy and surreal. It was like someone died, my friend said. Many Americans chose a man for president who I cannot find any love for. That’s the best thing I can say about him. I wasn’t blindsided…
Read Moreants
It’s 2:09am. I’ve been trying to fall asleep for more than 2 hours. I got up to make myself some Calm with magnesium, L-theanine, and GABA. This has been SO helpful with my sleep when I remember to take it. I engage in another round of killing ants as I wait for my hot water…
Read MoreWinter Solstice Light
I took some time today to seek out the light that was available on this Solstice. I put myself in the way of the light to receive warmth and fresh energy. I became more light. I felt the transformation happening between myself and today. I’ve been sick for days and isolating so I don’t add…
Read MoreGeorge Grey Eagle Bertelstein
Today my friend George left his body. With all of the people he loved so deeply, I can only imagine how hard it must have been for him to let go and cross to the other side. He did it. His death has already been a deeply meaningful teaching. It has only just begun to…
Read MoreHealing the War Inside Myself
I tried to claim to my journal that I don’t understand righteousness, but then I felt and saw that I do. Righteousness lives in me if I can undefend myself enough to see and acknowledge it. I can see ways righteousness owns me, if unchecked. There are layers of impact seared into flesh and strewn…
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