i am with you

My collaged vision for leading myself through my life.

Title: I Am With You 

~ Inspired by a recent online class with Carol Harada, Cutting Edge Collage: Invoking the Leader in You. ~ Thank you, Adriana Marchione and Carol Harada. 

I find, observe, cultivate and embody confidence in knowing myself well and in listening, observing, and being with others, and nature. 

I trust my life, trust in all parts of myself, and deeply trust the way I communicate and “be” with others and life itself.

I continually embody patience with myself, with others, and with the pace of change, growth, and learning. 

I take my time to walk slowly and know the earth beneath my feet. I learn people and environments by paying close attention to the details, and embracing the larger vision as I am able to. 

I cherish the way my body feels free, celebrated, and safe in the spaces it does. I honor my movements and the impact I have wherever I go.

I listen to and respect the NO that I have across body, mind and spirit. What is for me is for me. What is not, is not. 

My ability to stand beside, partner with, hold the hand of, and be with others is my strength. It’s a joining and becoming stronger together. It is not a better than/less than, power over/under, up on a pedestal/worshiping and not worthy, etc. kind of thing.   

There is no hierarchy. It is not winning or losing. It’s walking alongside each other on the path. Sharing in the discovery of what is real and true. Learning together and with consideration for each other. And valuing this so deeply, valuing humanity, all life, and moving at the pace of the human heart. 

How does invoking the leader work? It’s a question to be asked and answered over and over.  

I walked on the soft earth in a new year and felt a new universe of connection with all that lives below and above. The cycle of life and death all caught me in its web. The very force and movement that made and gave me life. My soul is moving slowly and eternally becoming more and more magnificent. 

I created a flower mandala altar for my business. A prayer to create in beauty with each other. 

I sat with my friend on her birthday atop a mountain overlooking the ocean. Everything was possible in our togetherness. She sang, played sitar, shared her love of the divine. We felt into the moment. Here is our love of life, of having a beating heart that longs for so much and more, and just sitting surrounded by the beauty and sound of now. 

I witnessed Aborigines print their hands on the wall with liquid earth sprayed from their mouths. They silently state with action and intention: I am here. I’ve been here. I’m still here. 

I was born obsessed with madrone trees. I’ve learned this again and again. The beauty revealed by peeling away. 

 I commune with leaves of silver dollar eucalyptus leaves. I humbly ask for their wisdom. 

The kindness, witness and presence of owls moves me through my life. Silent flight and support along the path. 

Holding hands and holding paws. Cats are some of my best friends. I am their person. This gives me purpose. 

His name was Michael T and we were about 3. He was silent and I was by his side. We could be best friends without speaking. A toddler heart & spirit connection. 

The eagles flight. The talons ready to grab life and hold on tight. They spark my sense of wonder and my belief in miracles. I feel blessed to hear and see. 

A celebration of delicate life. Seeing the unseen and shedding light in the hidden. A harmony of what is silently powerful with presence and peace. 

“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow

Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead

Walk beside me… just be my friend”

― Albert Camus

I’m in relationship with my inner leader. Leadership evolves within me and you. So many ways to lead, as unique and authentic as we all are.  

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I find wisdom in knowing myself & in observing the world around me. I share because I find it interesting. I write to allow myself to understand more deeply.

I’m not trying to lead anyone anywhere. (Unless they specifically ask me for direction.) I’m not trying to be an authority on anything or involve myself in claiming proficiency of any kind. (Unless you hire me to build your website.)

I specifically do not like this hierarchical structure of learning or leading for myself.

I’m discovering what leadership feels like from an internal place of listening, feeling into it energetically. I am not drawn to leading others, I am interested in leading myself. I follow my curiosity.

I visit past moments where I’ve been led by creative flow. I’m trying again & again to make time for & find trust in myself to create. Whether it’s a meal, a collage, a written something, or a moment of beauty, it’s an essential part of my life force I cannot live well without. I feel pulled to ignore & deny the need to make space for creating. If I listen to those voices, I feel depressed. If I listen to myself, I come alive, my mind turns on & I receive a waterfall of information to attempt to make sense of.

I’m grateful I said yes to being part of Carol Harada’s Cutting Edge Collage Class: Invoking the Leader in You.

Thinking about myself & “leader” was so rich. Gathering collage materials was full of memories & meaningful moments.

I found an envelope of cardboard shapes my mom gave me a while ago. She had cut them out to use as a pattern for a quilt. They were labeled, organized & in perfect condition. I loved tracing these shapes on origami paper to cut out for the base of my collage. I’m quilting with memories and photos.

~ i am with you ~

I see my memories & my life makes sense to me. I trust myself, my choices & decisions, my feelings. I know myself & understand my relationship to the mystery. I feel pride with all ages & versions I’ve evolved through, regressed back to & repeated endlessly. I feel a kind “awww” & a soft, but strong, “yes” to myself all along the journey. I have led myself here. I am here. I have been here. I am with you.