For many years, I’ve been aware of my tendency to join in when life beats me up. If someone or something hurts my feelings, I will sometimes think all these terrible thoughts about myself in the aftermath. Other times I feel distinctly self-destructive.
I’m often able to find mostly harmless ways to cope. Sometimes I remember to use all my tools/skills and I turn it around quickly. It just depends on the day.
In my head, I can hear the words of my wise Uncle George, “You have to remove the boot from your own neck.”
What would someone who loved me say or do? What is the most loving way I can be with myself and the most supportive thing I can do for myself when I feel badly?
Patience, presence, listening. Creating ease, comfort, just being there. It’s all there is to do in the time between hurt feelings and feeling better. Rest, nourishment, connection. Being with friends that are easy to be with. Gentle, soft, nudges forward towards the next feelings which can be better, easier, and kinder.
***I’m feeling good in the moment. Just reflecting on some recent (and ancient) challenges and continuing my self-education on self-love.***