I love you
I wrote this 4 years ago and I remember precisely the feeling of expressing it. I still feel exactly the same way.
The growing edge is living it and choosing this level of dedication to move, act and react from this wise and inspired part of myself. The sincerity of my words hold up over time for me, though I spiral both closer and farther away from them depending on the day. The wisdom, inspiration and courage is always there, I just have to remember to call upon these resources faster and more frequently.
Today what impacts me most is that the wise person who told me that someone saying “I love you.” to you is always a miracle was someone who had deeply and aggressively hurt my feelings. Somehow this encounter 4 years ago resolved the pain in my heart around that in a powerful way. The problem is that I still remember the pain and sometimes I forget that it was resolved and start to feel it again. It’s not my prayer to go back and relive old hurts. It’s my prayer to live in the space of allowing and believing in my ability to move forward receiving fully and reflecting back love and beauty wherever they exist both inside and outside of myself.
A prayer like this isn’t a miracle, it’s power is in remembering to choose it over and over all the time.
Sometimes I experience so much beauty in people and in the world that I notice an instinct to shut down to it because it is ~almost~ intolerable to be face to face with so much love.
Thankfully it IS possible and probable for me to stay open to it AND I am in constant consideration of how much more I can accept every day.
I AM willing to let tears stream down my face because I just cannot believe how amazing and vulnerable and impeccable people in this world can be with their open hearts and their sincere prayers and their big, beautiful human feelings.
I AM willing to accept that there is this incredible bounty of love in the hearts of so many people that is actually for me.
I AM willing to continually attempt to express the depth and quality of my love for those in my life even though my words can never really capture the magnitude and nuance of it or my unfathomable gratitude for it.
I AM willing to have faith that I can have exactly the quality of love that I want and that I can trust myself to receive as gracefully as I give and treat it sacredly every day.
Last night, a wise person said to me that someone saying, “I love you” to you is a miracle. I’m so grateful for those words and I do believe that it is a miracle EVERY time.
No matter how many times I’ve said, “I love you” I am NEVER unaware of the power of those words and the vulnerability and prayer of what they mean. It’s never any less powerful than the greatest miracle of my entire life to hear from anyone at anytime that they love me.