WUNJO - The Rune of Joy
Years ago I bought The Book of Runes by Ralph H. Blum. It's a handbook for the Spiritual Warrior and the rune stones are an oracle providing a mirror and a little magic for knowing yourself deeply. I've consulted these runes many times over the years and value the way they consistently bring my focus directly to the heart of the matter. Wunjo (joy) is a rune that repeatedly appears for me - an inner urge to follow my joy always. It's a good way for me.
Writing is something that brings me peace, joy and exhilaration to share my inner world. Writing helps me make sense of myself and my world. I started writing for myself in high school. Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way introduced me to Morning pages and they have been my friend for years.
Me & Tone Policing
What I have learned about myself and tone policing is that I center myself, my comfort and feelings over the content & context of what is being expressed to me. I have pushed back from conversations (and friendships) because I have thought to myself, “All they ever talk about is race.” “I can’t handle the…
Me & White Fragility
I’ve learned that my White Fragility is a way of centering myself as a victim and attempting to get others to care-take my hard feelings when I encounter racial stress or discomfort. I’ve noticed my fragile white behavior occurs when it’s been easier and more familiar than acknowledging the overwhelming prevalence and unfairness of structural…
Me & White Privilege
I’ve learned that my white privilege has allowed me to be incredibly ignorant and believe that I wasn’t complicit in the atrocities of racism people of color experience constantly. My white privilege has allowed me to think that I was better than and more evolved than outspoken racists, white supremacists, the alt right, Trump supporters,…
Transience
I’ve been in a struggle with my thoughts, my mind, and my heart. I sometimes feel that I have to fight so hard to find the right thoughts, the good way, or the truth of myself. I know that so many times in the past I’ve found an easier way of being happier, more loving…
Grandpa B
Clarence Edgar Berger died of an instant massive heart attack in the late summer of 1984. He was my mom’s dad. My Grandpa B. He’d always greet me with a big smile, but he didn’t ever say much to me. He was always swatting his dogs with his cane – somehow in a loving way.…
Empowering
I’m proud of the *Brawny Explorers! We were brave, kind and compassionate as we gave out the care packages they put together for folks living on the streets of San Francisco. In 1 hour, we walked around 1 city block and met more than 16 homeless men and women. Witnessing true gratitude (and some relief)…
Sober
From a young age, I understood that alcohol could make people you love do terrible things and behave really badly. I understood that some people were seemingly able to “drink responsibly” and others did not seem to be able to do that. I thought that alcohol tasted disgusting and didn’t understand why anyone would want…
Listening
I find that listening is a gift whether I am the one with open ears and an open heart or I am the one speaking. It’s often actually very challenging for me to just listen, more so with those that aren’t used to being listened to and tend to ask questions or feel uncomfortable with…
Awakening
The woman I was a few months ago would not have believed that I would take a workshop called Burlesque from the Inside Out – choreographing and performing a powerful solo piece in a cabaret show in a San Francisco theater! This is the point where Kellita the Showgirl Shaman shimmied her way into my…
Support
Today I’m moved by my own strong desire to feel supported in my life. Support for me feels like connection, listening, calling, showing up, checking in, offering, loving, communicating, making time, encouragement, patience, and presence. I know there is a wide net of love that exists for me. And there are times, like today, that…
#metoo
Every time I see, hear or read the name Ben, I think about the Benjamin R. Holland, who I was on the Swimming & Diving Team with at Kenyon College, who had sex with me without my consent. Even now as I write this 20 years later, I hesitate to use the word rape because…
Depression
It’s been a long time since I wrote a long post. This has been on my mind for a while and tonight I wanted to share with you some very raw, personal thoughts. Depression is something that I’ve had a lot of experience with for a really long time. I’ve done a lot of research,…